Have you all heard? There are back deal meetings being made by the Obama Administration and they have been executed. 

**All events spoken about from this point on didn't happen. It's just how I envisioned paranoid voters slippery slope bullshit.

I first noticed when I went to spit out my toothpaste and had something caught in the back of my mouth. I was wondering if I had swallowed the head of the toothbrush on accident. I finally spit out all the paste and looked in the mirror for the object and was mortified to find my uvula swollen and resting on my tongue. I had my sister take a look at it. She started dry heaving. Then everyone in the house started treating me as a newly diagnosed AIDS patient in the 1980's throwing cups away, covering their mouths when I walked into a room, and disinfecting anything I touched with bleach.

I finally got into the doctor. The nurse looked at it and said "HOLY SHIT!" wow that is the biggest I've ever seen." 10 minutes later the doctor came in and said---"Well the nurse was impressed to say the least." Part of me felt accomplished a bit and the other part of me sad. This was my first time ever getting praise for having something gigantic and it not being anything I'd accomplished. I had the Dirk Diggler of uvulas. 

I"m back on anti-biotics again for the third time this year. Pretty soon they'll have me eating moldy bread when my body becomes resistant to them. 

That being said I was released with exhaustion and infection of the uvula and told to go home, get rest, and start eating better. I got one day this week to kick it, drink Jameson, and finally get some sleep. 

I have exciting news upcoming regarding my latest effort "Parker and Julia" and am starting a fundraising campaign end of month. I will also be closing the Westates Film Festival in St George, UT with "Parker and Julia" while also getting a Director's spotlight showcasing all of my other work leading up to my latest. No complaints here. 

Thank god tomorrow is Friday and I get to kick it, sleep, and rejuvenate for phase 5 of the filmmaking process called "Business" while tackling school and work. All of this will pay off in the future, but right now I just need sleep I will not get for a while.

This always strikes people the wrong way (mostly my guy friends) when I say I don't like them. I went to one in Vegas and perhaps it's my fault for being a psychology and philosophy admirer. Most of the non-fiction I read outside of school deals with these topics. I'm a straight dude and I love women. I really admire the female body and often look at myself when I get out of the shower and wonder how women find men attractive. It's also why I think women ...

While it is ridiculous to compare people who are unreliable to those that commit sexual crimes against humanity. I do think that that a registry for flakes is definitely in order.

I can solve complex Calculus equations, write logical philosophical arguments with ease, and write screenplays without breaking a sweat. Sure they're not easy tasks to accomplish but I don't feel defeated by them in anyway.

The problem resides in my absent mindedness. If I don't know my way around somewhere even giving me directions I become lost to the point of ridiculous anxiety and sweating. That's why my GPS is ...

I live in the desert so I'm plagued with spiders. This makes going to sleep at night more difficult. There's these brown hobo spiders here that look like facehuggers from the 1979 film "Alien" they carry their little baby spiders on their back in these translucent sacs. It's probably the scariest and most disturbing thing I have seen. That one is scary visually.

The spider that takes the cake here. The black widow spider. I hate them. Those bastards hide out in your shoes and if you don't shake them before putting them on you get bit. Most of the time the black widow bites you in your sleep. That's right the spider comes to YOUR bed uninvited and if you happen to roll over onto one in your sleep you get bit. How rude. 

There was this spider outside my door. This big nasty black widow and I stared at him when I'd come home at night and he'd stare back at me with those cold, dark, set of eyes. It's war bitch. 

So every morning I'd wake up and destroy his web. I'd come home and he'd have built a new one. 

The next morning I torched it with kerosene and a lighter. I came home and he'd rebuilt the web again.

The third morning I was beyond done and sprayed the web with RAID. The war was won or so I thought. The spider then built another web just three feet right of the original spot. I finally gave up and realized it was time to squash him the next night. 

I couldn't find him. Shoe in hand pistol cocked and ready in case he was ready to pounce. Nada. 

Then I thought of something. I was wondering how much that would suck to go to work and come home. Your house is in rubble. To just shrug and rebuild it. That would suck a lot. This spider had tenacity man. No matter how hard I tried he kept rebuilding. 

I also was getting a little worried because I thought this spider could be like something from Charlotte's Web. Instead of writing nice and positive messages of encouragement I would come home to mean spirited things written in the web. 

"Get a higher paying job asshole."

"You've been single for 5 years ever wonder why?"

"You're jokes are hack at best. Don't give up your regular job."

Harlot's Web. It never happened but it came close. 

Dry sockets are more painful than any cavity or dental work I've had done. I have a high threshold for pain and dry sockets had me at my knees holding the side of my mouth.So I'm on round two of the painkillers because I am literally squirming in my bed with pain until I have to talk myself into taking the pain medication.

When the physician was prescribing them to me I told her not to give me hardly any and at the lowest dosage possible. So what did she do? She gave me the highest dosage possible and a very high quantity of them....

Why do I have to TALK MYSELF INTO taking something that a lot of people are addicted to and can't talk themselves out of?

Simple: When I'm on them, I'm really really high, part of me thinks that it doesn't even kill the pain but makes me feel so high that I forget that there is pain. It probably doesn't help that I'm watching Pee Wee's Big Adventure (Tim Burton Directed) while on them. Yesterday afternoon I was sitting watching clowns destroy Pee Wee's bike at the peak of the medicine's effectiveness and couldn't feel my heartbeat. I then entertained the idea that I was dead and possibly occupying the planet Neptune with a bunch of clowns. After I shoved that silly thought to the side I started slapping my face. I couldn't feel the touch of my skin nor the slaps. *sigh*

I then did something that I thought was funny. I decided to watch people on A&E Intervention and specifically episodes about people that can't get off painkillers while I myself was on painkillers. I was scratching my head going "Eh, nope, don't get it, this drugs sucks."

All I could think to myself was man these people need to be talked out of this and I have to talk myself into this or deal with throbbing pain. I guess that's what makes me unique. 

When are they finally going to have medicinal marijuana in all of the states in the US? Because opiates are retarded and ineffective.

I realized I was incapable of getting anything done and since I was going to be living like a person on A&E intervention for 3 days popping painkillers, that I might as well watch movies about the Mob. Goodfellas and Casino to name a few. If you're going to watch movies about the Mob you have to go with Martin Scorcese or The Godfather 1 and II. They're the fine wine of mob films.

There were tons of documentaries to watch as bonus material on the blurays.

So here's my list of things I've learned about the Italian Mob:

1. They take their food very seriously. They're not dicking around.

2. If you're going to be part of the mob there's three places you end up as you work your way up through the ranks: Murdered, jail, or witness relocation program.

3. Don't talk on the phone and nowadays stay off the internet. 

4. If you pull of a heist. Don't spend a cent of your cash from the taking for at least 3 years and if you're going to be part of the heist make sure you're the guy in charge of pulling it off or you'll end up murdered. Dead men make for terrible witnesses.

5. Drug dealing brings heat. Stick to the lower end of things like racketeering.

6. No adultery.

7. Being a made man is the shit you're untouchable and protected.

Number 6 is what blows my mind. Mainly because you hear religion talk about adultery a lot and how it's one of the worst sins to commit. Some of us have been cheated on, experienced associates or friends of ours go through divorces over infidelity, and we've seen the toll it wil take on a person's psychology. 

The mob would hire teenagers to do runs, murder to cover up a trail, burn down joints, strong-arm people, and even kill a teenager without as much remorse further than "You killed him you have to dig the hole to bury the body." The line in the sand? Adultery or making a move on someone else's woman. It's bad for business.

If the mob draws the line in the sand at adultery. That means it must really really really really bad. 

Lesson learned. Do not commit adultery. Ever.